Like 92-percent of us, my wishful self-promises, a.k.a. resolutions, generally end up broken. Sure a few stuck, but most didn’t. So, three decades ago, I started saying no to short bursts that fade, resurrected year after year from guilt or should-dos, rather than genuine self-awareness. Now, I say no to New Year resolutions for three reasons:
#1: Life requires choices and trade-offs
New Year resolutions aren’t the solution for sustained, mindful change, but time investment is. Since January is not only the start of a new year, but the month of my birthday, it’s when I reflect on how I want to use my time in the upcoming year. You see, the reality is that there will never be enough time to do everything I want to do, am curious to do, or would like to do. A new year is, for me, a time for letting go of what no longer makes sense, embracing what does, and shifting my focus accordingly.
#2: Sustained change starts with self-understanding
Time is life’s nonrenewable currency. How we spend it provides a clearer understanding of what we want more or less of going forward. What I know for me is this: Resolutions don’t provide the deep, significant, and lasting change I seek. I don’t want to have a new year; I want to make a just-right-year for me, grounded in time investments that align with who I am and what I value. Or, as author Annie Dillard put it, “How we spend our days is of course how we spend our lives.”
#3: It’s the pursuit that matters
I’m a huge fan of goals, dreams, and aspirations. Mine arrive in many forms, like wanting to make a difference in the lives of family and friends or becoming a writer or starting a business. These aren’t goals one accomplishes in a year, but aspirations which require ongoing and persistent focus over time. My approach, then, is to make progress year to year because when life-happens events collide with resolutions, the resolutions are the first to go. But when my goal year-to-year is making progress, the dreams and aspirations stay alive and grow, changing one’s life, building one’s future, and opening one’s path to bigger possibilities.
You can find more of my musings in the “Previous Work Archive: In the Scheme of Things ITSOTArchive (nanrussell.com); Winning at Working WWArchive (nanrussell.com)
You can scroll some of my favorite quotes here: Gallery & Musings | Nan S Russell
